New Virtual Spiritual wb4all “Meta-Church”

April 21, 2013

Well-Being for All (wb4all) “Meta-Church”

♫ ♥ Click here for nice background music as you read and think ♥ ♫

Don’t You Wish All Religions Had These Three Principles?

With your help, they eventually all will.

A “meta-church,” by my definition — and I invented this use of the term — influences all other churches and religions to evolve toward specific core principles if they don’t already have them in place.

Well-Being for All (wb4all) “Meta-Church”

This meta-church is built around three core aspects of God’s will.  His main message and objective is not that I or any person should preach to any other, it’s (1) that all individuals should work at having and maintaining individual direct (without intermediary) 2-way verbal communication with God (like I have in 2013) and hear that He wants everyone else to go direct 2-way verbal with him too, (2) hear directly from him that he wants individual, organizational, and global goals to be well-being for all (wb4all), and (3) hear from him directly he wants everyone to use a high-quality thinking process to interpret and apply his reported past communications and actual current communications to current circumstances of law and everyday life.

April 13, 2013

New Site for a New Meta-Church

Great New Meta-Church! Site Main Page (I’ll explain how this site has changed)

This site is being converted in April 2013


a pre-May2011 general interest blog and page creation site with maybe a dozen blog posts on this long main composite blogpost page (you get when use use address or click on the big blue wb4all area at the top of any of the pages on the site) and dozens of separate alphabetical menu subject pages on the right-side point-and-click menu


a site with fewer pages so far (the pages above the page separator on the pages menu at right) about a really great new “meta-church,” the Well-Being for All (wb4all) “Meta-Church” that, well, on April 2, 2013, God asked me to form.

The old blog posts and blog pages will be left in the site to give the reader of the new church pages some additional perspective on who the founder of the church,  me, Tom McMullen, is and was before the Armageddon-like events after Dec 29 2013 and before the spiritualization events of May 2011.  The blog posts and blog pages were and are about music, Joni Mitchell, history, technology, management, Woodstock song lyrics, “world languages”, thinking about thinking, comic books hobby, thinking about philosophy, theology, factory computer systems, tennis tournaments — a lot of different topics.

The Well-Being for All (wb4all) Idea

I started using the well-being for all (wb4all) idea explicitly in mid-1998 when it came to me as what my obvious Theory of Constraints (T.O.C.) global personal goal — as well as my recommended goal for all individuals and institutions should be for use in T.O.C. thinking processes and logic tree diagrams.  The yellow post-it squares of a T.O.C. future reality logic tree diagram were on the wall over the dark red leather sofa in the living room of my townhouse in Washington D.C.  The post-it at the very top had, “well being for all,” written on it as my goal for coordinating all my projects.   Lots more post-its of all colors were on other walls of the three floor house for current reality, future reality, prequisites, transition, and evaporating cloud conflict resolution diagrams.  Great decor, right?  “Love what you done with the place, Tom.  Especially the wallpaper.”  🙂

wb4all became the name and address of this site when it was created in 2010 though the content never had much explicit discussion of tying any of it to the well-being for all (wb4all) idea, though I was wb4all through and through in every way. I then spiritualized in a certain way (experiencing various spirit types, including God, directly) in May 2011 which is addressed elsewhere on this site in the church section. Then, on April 3, 2013, God asked me to create a church around my/his/our well-being for all (wb4all) idea.

Why the my/his/our expression? Ever stop taking new ideas for granted and wonder where or who they come from? Is it you? Or “intuition?” If “intuition,” where does intuition come from? So “my” 1998 is just “my” idea? I think you see my point. The whole church is like this, by the way. Very interesting things are noticed when examining the ordinary, everyday, and the “taken for granted” with high-quality and high-clarity thinking processes.

At this writing, the next stops for people interested in the new church idea, can go to:

or the other several pages above the separator on the menu at the right side of this and all the pages.


The Ways We Experience Music

May 11, 2010

This blog
and the Dozen or So That Come Below It
 were Added Prior to the wb4all “Meta-Church” Part of the Website
Being Added Here in April 2013

Starting here and proceeding down, it’s all pre-May2011 material and is not related to my work to articulate and promote the new well-being for all “meta-church.”  But leaving this earlier material here does give you a sense of who I was and still am other than the spiritualization reporting, spiritual plane events reporting, and church-starting efforts God asked me to do.  Enjoy!

 Noticing Familiar Lyrics Anew: The song, “Woodstock”

❤ Lights low, white wine, & ❤ ♫ ♫ ❤ solo or with a pal ❤ over the years

I have always loved music.  Different kinds of music.  Different kinds of involvement.  At different times of life.  Revisiting familiar music has been an unending source of fascination for me.  Like re-reading passages from the past and seeing them through new eyes and understanding them in new ways.

There are lots of songs I have known “by heart.”  Which has meant different things for different songs.

For a few songs, we might know the music, lyrics, performer, and back stories.

Some of my friends have really focused on music.  They seem to know all the songs, background vocals, guitar parts, brass parts, lyrics, performers, and back stories “by heart.”

For the rest of us, music’s a big part of our lives, but not so much a focus of study.  Sometimes we know a few things “about” songs — who performed and wrote them, when, and maybe why.  More often, we just “know” we “know” that song … it’s great! … we love it! … yeah, and who was the band who did it?  : )

Then there’s the matter of the lyrics.  Sometimes a familiar loved song arrives to the part where we know the next six words “by heart” and sing along.  : )  “Haa-ang on, Sloopy.  Sloopy, hang on.”  “I’m a soul man. buh dih doo dih doo buh dih doo dih doo [we sing the brass part too].  “I’m goin’ to Surf City cause it’s two to one … TWO girls for evvvvv-reee boyyyyyyyyy”  And so forth.  Great stuff.

❤ Lights low, white wine, & ♫ ♫ ❤ solo or with a pal ❤ over the years

What brought that to my mind today is seeing a program on VH1 Classic called something like, “Woodstock: Then and Now.”  Toward the end, they told the story about how Joni Mitchell had written the song, “Woodstock,” although she missed attending the mid-August 1969 event due to another event in New York.  She watched news stories about the event on TV.  She was love interest with Graham Nash at the time.  Nash was at Woodstock playing some of the signature songs with Crosby, Stills, and Nash (not yet, “and Young”).  Nash told her all about it.  She wrote the song and, a month after Woodstock, played it at the mid-September 1969 Big Sur music festival in California.  This was before it was released on Joni’s record albums. It was also before Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young covered it on their hugely successful 1970 album, Deja Vu (by then, Neil Young was part of the fabled group of superstars).

Years ago, I heard and knew the upbeat energetic CSNY version first.  When I later heard the slower, more soulful, more spiritual, more deliberate Joni Mitchell version, I thought Joni was covering a CSNY song.  Exactly backwards. Which is sort of funny since Joni’s one of the most creative and smart poetesses and musicians ever. Guessing Joni, who’s also capable of upbeat smart music, was moved in the days just following the Woodstock event and was in a mood to convey something profound. Later, again guessing from the sounds alone, David Crosby, Stephen Stills, Graham Nash, and Neil Young decided the lyrics were perfect as the Woodstock anthem, but that they wanted to have a version that reflected the fun, optimistic, and lively side of the event. I wasn’t there. I was in high school. But I’m guessing, for those who attended, it was both things — full of life, energy, and optimism on the one hand, and profoundly moving and life-changing on the other.  (note 1)

Deja Vu: Highly successful 1970 CSNY album that included a cover of Joni Mitchell’s Woodstock

I noticed today that I have both the Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young and the Joni Mitchell versions of the song — with their very different rhythms, pacing, moods, and tones — “in my head.”  Over the years, whenever one of them has been played, I have been, without thinking about it, singing and humming along to both versions — aware of the words, but not really focusing on, knowing, and experiencing the meanings of the words.  So I’ve been aware of the words, but have never really focused on them beyond a phrase at a time.  Never concentrating on the words as a whole as the songs played.  Never read them as a poem before today.

When the two versions were being sampled on the VH1 show today, a few familiar phrases caught my attention in a new way.  It made me wonder how they fit together as a whole, or if they did.  Song lyrics don’t always make sense.  Sometimes, with other songs, I’ve worked at finding the lyrics (it’s a lot easier today with the internet) to see what’s “really” being said.  Sometimes there’s coherent meaning there.  Sometimes not.  Much of the value of the music is still there — the energy of it, the mood of it, the experience it creates in full focus or in background — whether the lyrics hang together perfectly or not.  After all, we love much instrumental music, music without lyrics too, right?

Today, more of the phrases were catching my attention than in my usual “listening”/humming along (Sometimes we “listen” as in pay careful attention to all the understandable lyrics in the song.  Sometimes we “listen” with music on “in the background”).  Today, I’m hearing, “child of god”, “we are stardust, we are golden”, “get my soul free”, “devil’s bargain”, and “we’ve got to get ourselves back to the garden”.  This has me noticing the obvious point, but hadn’t thought about it before, that the “garden” they’re talking about is “the garden of Eden”, “Paradise”, which is saying get back to a natural simplicity.  All of which is, of course, referring back to the Bible story.

So, after all these years of “knowing” the song, loving it’s sound, loving its mood, loving the experience it creates when playing in background — both as part of my Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young experience and my Joni Mitchell experience — it became the “Woodstock” song’s turn for one of my little lyrics discovery detours.

Since it’s a Joni Mitchell song, covered by Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young, it’s no surprise that the lyrics are quite good.

Have a look.

Woodstock lyrics, by Joni Mitchell, 1969

I came upon a child of god
He was walking along the road
And I asked him, where are you going
And this he told me
Im going on down to yasgurs farm
Im going to join in a rock n roll band
Im going to camp out on the land
Im going to try an get my soul free
We are stardust
We are golden
And weve got to get ourselves
Back to the garden

Then can I walk beside you
I have come here to lose the smog
And I feel to be a cog in something turning
Well maybe it is just the time of year
Or maybe its the time of man
I dont know who l am
But you know life is for learning
We are stardust
We are golden
And weve got to get ourselves
Back to the garden

By the time we got to woodstock
We were half a million strong
And everywhere there was song and celebration
And I dreamed I saw the bombers
Riding shotgun in the sky
And they were turning into butterflies
Above our nation
We are stardust
Billion year old carbon
We are golden
Caught in the devils bargain
And weve got to get ourselves
Back to the garden


You can find both the Joni Mitchell and CSNY versions of “Woodstock”, along with other great Joni Mitchell songs, here:


Joni Anderson, Canadian singer and songwriter, before she became the famous Joni Mitchell of L.A.

Notes:1.  I gather from the various accounts I’ve seen that Woodstock was also more than a little bit muddy and messy.  It was 1/2 million people all-of-a-sudden camping out on a farm for three days and nights in a small rural and artsy upstate New York town west of the Hudson River.  Plus rain.  But the world has mostly come away with a “glass half full” view and interpretation of those 3 or 4 remarkable days and nights of peace, love, and music in middle of August of 1969.

Poster for the Woodstock Festival


May 9, 2010

Fantastic Four #1, November 1961

Great site!

Brings back a lot of cool memories.  I actually had Fantastic Four #1.  Yay, me!

I’m noticing in wikipedia that FF #1 came out in 1961.  The month on the cover says November.

I’m working on the date math … Nov 1961 is about a year too early for me to be buying comics yet.  But I know for sure that the big day was sometime between spring 63 and spring 64.  That was 5th or 6th grade.  I remember the moment distinctly as an event and location and person, but not for sure the year.

A lot of things were going on at the time.  Lost JFK in late 63.  Beatles arrive to USA the following spring.

But this Fantastic Four #1 event.  It was outside the classroom in elementary school.  I can still see the lockers along the wall.  My pal had an amazing comics collection and was a pretty tough trader.  But, on that day, all of a sudden, he agreed to trade me Fantastic Four #1 for (I think) a Spiderman I had plus 1 or two other comics.  Maybe a Flash or Justice League or Aquaman or something.  : )  Green Lantern maybe?  Not sure.  But, anyway … WOW!  I could barely believe it when I walked away with Fantastic Four #1!  Changed my life for a week or so!  : )

As I’m clicking through your FABULOUS collection of early FF covers — GREAT SITE! — I recognize all of them.  I must have had all of them.  I think, beginning in Fall 62, I had started keeping pace with new FFs (paper route money, mowing lawns, shoveling sidewalk snow, collecting and returning deposit bottles, etc) and somehow, I guess by trading, caught up on all the 1962 FFs.  By the time of the BIG ’63/’64 trade in the hallway at Parkville Elementary, I probably had all the FFs except for — number 1.

Where are they now?  Long gone.  When I went off to college, my aunt/mom didn’t think she needed to consult with me before donating my comics and cards collections to a children’s hospital.  I wasn’t happy about it, but, oddly, I wasn’t crushed or furious.  By then, my life and energies were going in other directions.  And, at the time, the values hadn’t taken off.  Most of them were in pretty good condition.  Not all.

The comics era was a great one for me.

Anyway, many thanks, MonsterBlog, OneRoom, for providing such a great site!


It was a movie and another great site that got me thinking about this Fantastic Four #1 thing.

Superman II came on TV.  The online TV Guide said it was a 2006 film.  That didn’t sound right.  Plus, the Gene Hackman character was a REALLY young looking (and, of course, handsome) Gene Hackman.  Anyway, the Google hits explained without the need to go to another page.  Apparently, somebody associated with the 1980 Superman II film (that sounded better) had re-edited the film in 2006.  Not sure why.

Anyway, while scanning the Google hits, I noticed one for Superman Comics #2.  Superman II.  Superman 2.   You know.  Clicked to see it and I was reminded that “Superman 1 and 2” were really “Action Comics 1 and 2.”  I was also impressed with the cool site.

Here’s the cool site:  Superman #1 (Action, 1938)

By the way, the whole comic is there.  Cover, inside cover, story pages.  Take a look at that ad in the inside cover.  Ads looked like that then. : )

So, naturally, that all made me think of the HUGE favor my comix-savvy pal did for me on that big day in ’63 or ’64 by letting me trade him for Fantastic Four #1!

¿Estas conmigo, amigos y amigas?

March 27, 2010

Somebody asked me today about some words they heard in a Spanish song.


Waterfall – by Jim Warren – my fav work by my fav artist – it has nothing to do with today’s blog post, but it’s very nice, don’t you agree?

Ok, back to those three Spanish words.  It looks like conmigo (with me), contigo (with you), and consigo (with her/him/it) are …

… very commonly-used …

… irregular structures, exceptions, special cases …

… of Spanish prepositions, pronouns, and prepositional pronouns.

the “con-” and the “-go” are redundant.

“con mi go” is “with me with”.

You ask, since when does “-go” mean “with” in Spanish?  Not any more. “-go” is an archaic obsolete Spanish prepositional suffix that meant “with.”

Hm..  But the “-go” came after, not before, the “me.”  Maybe I should say it’s a post-positional suffix, a post-position vs. a pre-position.  Ever notice that what we in English pronounce as “PREP-osition” is really re-pronouncing, “PRE-position” ? : )  The preposition pre-positions our thought.  The preposition, “above,” pre-positions our thinking to expect something, well, positioned, well, above whatever noun object follows.  “above the chair.”  Some languages use post-position words or suffixes that come after the noun.  “chair above.”

While we’re playing with offbeat items, there’s another interesting thing that shows up in languages sometimes.  I know you’ve heard of a “prefix,” a word part that attaches to the front of a word, before the word.  Like adding “un-” and “re-” to “prepared” and “play” to make “unprepared” and “replay.”  I know you’ve heard of a “suffix,” a word part that’s attached to the end of a word, after the word.  Like adding “ing” or “ed” to “sing” or “toast” to make “singing” or “toasted.”  But have you ever seen an “infix”?  A word part that is added into the middle of a word?  There’s an Arabic verb form, Form VIII or one of those, that “infixes” a “t” sound between the first two root consonants.  See?  We learn something new every day.

More little stuff.  Why do we call “the” and “a” … “articles”?  I never thought about it until I thought it was strange that, in some languages, little words and word parts were called, “particles.”  It occurred to me that it was no more strange to call something a “particle” than an “article.”  Both are ways of saying a “thing,” with the idea of a “small thing.”  Article.  Particle.  Thingamajig.  Whoever was inventing the terms of English grammar wanted to have a name for the “a” and “an” and “the” and said, “ok, i’m not going to call them ‘specks’ or ‘bits’ or ‘pieces’ or ‘crumbs’, so I’ll just call them, ‘articles.’ ”  Right.  Absolutely essential information to have handy at all times!  : )

This page …

… says, correctly, that English has subject and object pronouns, and that  English uses the same object pronouns for direct objects and objects of prepositions

It also says spanish uses three separate sets of pronouns for subjects, objects, and objects of prepositions.

None of these standard (regular, as in regularity, as in conforming to the basic rule and not being an exception to the rule) prepositional pronouns are conmigo, contigo, and consigo.  There’s mi and ti and si (have to check this), but no -migo, -tigo, or -sigo.  -migo, -tigo, and -sigo are used only with con (with).  That’s triple redundancy, with con (with) … triple what where? … nevermind … : )


A few google hits and the wikipedia article below say this irregular usage comes from the influence of Latin on Spanish and that Latin has a suffix that means “with.”

This wikipedia excerpt on spanish pronouns explains why it happened:

Con, derives from the Latin CVM (“with”), is an idiosyncratic preposition that combines with the personal pronouns ti, and  as the forms: conmigo (“with me”), contigo (“with you”), and consigo (“with her-, himself”). Linguistically, the denotation of the -go suffix originally was inherent to con, that is — in Latin, CVM was often placed after its pronoun, thus the MECVM, TECVM, SECVM, et cetera, usages. This popular Latin usage gave Spanish the migotigo, and sigo … forms, their usages now lost; like-wise the denotations of the -go and -co suffixes, in the event, speakers redundantly prefixed con- to these words, hence this Spanish prepositional usage.

  • Ven conmigo y con él ahora = “Come with me and him now.”
  • Iré a la fiesta con vosotras = “I will go to the party with you.”
  • Es raro llevar un billete de 200€ consigo = “It is unusual to carry a €200 note on oneself

The song, “Suzanne”

November 26, 2009

Who knew?


Jim Warren - Waterfall

Who knew what?

Well, I was watching PBS late LATE last night.  That’s early morning, Thanksgiving Day 2009.  A guy comes on with a guitar and an old stetson hat.  It’s a dark bar setting, although I think it was an arena stage.  I think it’s maybe someone like Jack Kerouac, or Allen Ginsberg, or even Bill Shatner doing 50’s beat era poetry to music.

Maybe it’s Bob Dylan.  Nah.  This guy can almost sing..

Deep voice.  Deep mood.  But cool female backup singers.  Who is this guy?  PBS breaks to raise money.  He’s some guy named Leonard Cohen.  Never heard of  him though, the way PBS speaks of his 40-50 year career, I begin to think I should have.  I also don’t recognize any of his songs, except for “Hallelujah.”  The song sounds very familiar, but not in his voice.  The song is one a lot of amateurs sing when they pick up a guitar at sing-alongs or in church.

I listen carefully to the song titles the PBS people name.  None sound familiar. They say he’s known for a song called, “Suzanne,” but that doesn’t ring a bell either.

Sleep, wake up, turkey day, evening.

Oh, y’know, I wonder who that Leonard Cohen guy was last night?  Wikipedia. Leonard Cohen … ok, there’s the “Suzanne” song mentioned again … hmm, it was a hit for Judy Collins … ok, Youtube search … it comes right up in the indexing … let’s have a listen …

Oh boy.  Ok.  The “Suzanne” song they mentioned is THAT “Suzanne” song … …  right … That Suzanne song … that suzanne song …  right … …  … that Suzanne song …

THAT Suzanne song (YouTube)

Who knew?  That the song, “Suzanne”, one of the most sensual, beautiful, and interesting songs ever written, is a Leonard Cohen song.  Answer: lots of people. And now I know too.


What’s a plinth?

September 16, 2009


24/7 live webcast, thru Oct 14:

My fav artist, Jim Warren

September 11, 2009

Jim Warren - Waterfall – This is, Waterfall, my fav work by my fav artist, @Jim_Warren. Found it on a mag coverin  early 98. The image can be a wish or prayer that someone or everyone you know should enjoy luxurious experience.

Jim Warren Sampler on Youtube:

Jim’s Website:

Seeing Waterfall on the cover of a magazine in Tampa during a business trip in early 1998 was the first time I’d seen Jim’s work or heard of him.

I wonder … checking wikipedia for Jim.  Ok.  He’d been well-known in music/dvd/entertainment art world long before I stumbled into and fell in love with his work.


Next is my second fav Jim Warren work:

Jim Warren - 3 Levels of Lovers

Jim Warren - 3 Levels of Lovers 2nd fav from @Jim_Warren.

It’s nice to think of lovers experiencing selves & each other at three levels at once – seen by eyes, seen inside, unseen.

Easy to miss – The middle level’s in the white cresting/breaking waves at right.

The couple can see selves & each other walking holding hands on the beach.  The even nicer prior or future times the couple can remember/imagine Jim places elegantly in the cresting/breaking wave.  Their unseen higher selves Jim places in the clouds.


GamerSpeak – “Uber-Pwnage”

July 21, 2009

A young professional woman attended a rock concert recently.  When she met the lead singer of the band, she described the experience by writing, “It was uber-pwnage!”

Uber-pwnage.  Right.  I know what you’re thinking.  When did the letter “w” become a vowel?

I did a little etymological research on this expression and the answer is cute.  I’ll share it with you here.

Ok.  “Uber” is a German prefix meaning “over” that English has borrowed at least for stylish and slang expressions.  No problem.  But “over” or “upper-level” or “meta” or “really strong” used with “pwnage”?  Uber-pwnage?  wtf?

From the way the young woman used the expression, it must mean something like “really great.”  But how?

The answer comes from a totally unexpected and funny direction.

It comes from what has come to be known in competitive gaming circles — board games,  sports, cards, negotiation, and more — as “trash talk.”

Talking trash.  You know what I mean.  It’s when one player gets so far ahead of the opponent that the game is essentially over.  The now inevitable winner smiles and says, either quietly or with a shout, “I own you.”

Sure, you say.  Everybody knows that.  But how do you get from there to “pwnage.”  Good question.  I’ll tell you.

Let’s say your competitive playing field of choice is an online war game.  In the old days, your computer’s keyboard was your ONLY means of communicating with the game, including any teammates and opponents.  Even today, with audio and video often built into the gaming experience, the keyboard is the primary communications tool.

So what, you say?  I’ll tell you.

So there you are online.  At war.  You now have your opponent on the ropes.  You’re in such command of the game that you can’t possibly lose.  Or maybe that’s what you want to tell your opponent to psyche them out.

So what do you do?  You reach for your keyboard and type, “I own you,” right?  Right.

But the letter, “o” is right next to the letter, “p.”  🙂


So now you’re the opponent and you see on your computer screen, “I pwn you.”  ???????? 🙂

From there, it’s clear etymological and grammatical sailing to “uber-pwnage.”

“Own” becomes “pwn,” pronounced as “pone” or “pawn,” depending on your preference.  (see update below)

Add the English suffix, “-age,” when your energetic gloating and trash talk requires a noun for a condition of life to go with the transitive verb.  In other words, the game condition of “ownage,” with the comical mis-spelling, becomes, the game competitive state of “pwnage.” 🙂

Make the game/competitive condition, not just “ownage” and”pwnage,” but “uber-ownage” and you get — you guessed it —


Who knew?

– tom mcmullen

UPDATE:  It turns out that the people who really know don’t pronounce “pwn” as either “pawn” or “pone,” but simply “own,” as if the mis-typing of “p” instead of “o” never happened.  So our “uber-pwnage” is pronounced “uber-ownage.”  Gotta love GamerSpeak!  🙂


Legend of Zelda, the classic NES game.
I, ahem, happen 2know the 1st vid is what comes whenUwin! 🙂

The Guild – Felicia Day – “Do You Want to Date My Avatar” 🙂


July 21, 2009

A momfriend of mine was driving her daughter and her friends home from a skating park recently when she overheard, “That dude was a really excellent tranny skater!”  When I learned of this, I googled around the web to find out how a “tranny skater”  — presumably a skateboard skater — might be different from any other skateboard skater.

As it turned out, the web support for “tranny skater” was weak.  There were many comments by skaters using variations on “tranny” and other unfamiliar terms, but no definitions or explanations.   Ever-helpful Wikipedia had the word, “transition,” on its list of meanings for “tranny,” but the link to the skating page didn’t explain or even mention any word starting with “tran.”

After a while of not finding the right website, and to keep the fun going, I decided to realize that the universe was revealing to me yet another modern world language, one requiring further research and elaboration.

The phenomenon unfolding before me was none other than — SkaterSpeak — an exciting new language that comes complete with its own vocabulary, underlying sport, technology, and evolving culture.

Cool Dumb Jokes: “Walks Into A Bar” :)

July 13, 2009

R2D2 walks into a bar and says, !@#$%^&*()_+ *&^%#@~!

A penguin walks into a bar & asks, “Has anybody seen my brother?” The bartendr looks around & says, “What does he look like?”

The number 12 walks into a bar. Bartender says, “Sorry, can’t serve you. You’re under 21.”

A skeleton walks into a bar. He says to the bartender, “Give me a drink and a mop.”

A pair of dice walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “What are you having, fellas?” One die answers, “Doubles”

3 blondes walk into a bar shouting “61 days!” Asked why, they explain: “We just finished a jigsaw puzzle that said 3-5 yrs in only 61 days!”

Dog walks into bar. has leg in sling, 6gun at his side, cold look in his eye.”I’m a-lookin’ 4 the man what shot my paw”

Rhett Butler walks into a bar. Barmaid asks 4contribution2 hydroelectric project.He sez: Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a dam

A dachshund walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, pour me a long one.”

George M. Cohan walks into a bar & asks where’s the bathroom. The barman recognizes him & sings, ♫ OVER THERE! OVER THERE! ♫

A baby cow walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve him. Insulted, he says, “FINE, I’ll drink in some udder place”

2 eggs, a sausage, & a pancake walk into a bar. Bartender says,  Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast here.

A banana walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, pal, but you’ve got to split.”

A cookie walks into a bar, finds it’s after closing time & falls apart. Bartender sez: I guess that’s how the cookie crumbles

A mushroom walks into a bar. Barman sez: We don’t serve your kind. Mushrm: C’mon! I’m a fungi #FunGuy 🙂

A penguin, a giraffe, & a polar bear walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Is this some kind of joke?”

A giraffe walks into a bar and orders drinks for everyone by saying,  “high balls on me.”

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm. “A beer please, and one for the road.”

A man with jumper cables walks into a bar & asks: Can I get a drink? Bartender says: Sure, just don’t start anything

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender looks him over & laughs: What ARE those SOX?! The pirate growls: “Aargh I’ll …”

An angel walks into a bar hoping to meet someone heavenly.

An alien walks into a bar hoping she’ll meet someone out of this world.

Johnny Walker walks into a bar. The bartender asks: Have a drink, pal? Johnny says: No thanks, I already am one.

Robin Hood & his Merry Men walk into a bar. They all had dates. Robin had made Marian.

A pirate walks into a bar. Barman: You know you have a wheel on your pants? Pirate: Argh! Drives me nuts!

A man walks into a bar & says “ouch, that hurt”

Duck walks into a Bar. Says, “Put it on my bill.”

A grasshopper walks into a bar. Barman says: We have a drink named after you! GH: You have a drink named Kevin??

Baby seal walks into a bar. Barman sez what can i getcha. Baby seal sez anything but a canadian club on the rocks

A bee walks into a bar. The barman makes fun of him: “What’ll it BEE, pal?” The bee sneers, “Why don’t you just buzz off?”

A bear walks into a bar, hears what customers are ordering, & gets really angry. But then he settles down. “Oh, BEER nuts”

A bull walks into a bar to have a snort.

The bartender recognizes a squirrel in disguise. Squirrel: How did you know I’m a squirrel? Barman: Saw your nuts.

Pussy walks into a cat bar with a man & just sits there. Cat barmaid finally sez, “What’s wrong, honey, man got your tongue?”

A rope ties itself into a knot, walks into a bar, & orders: Beer, please! The bartender looks him over & says: Why knot?

A period walks into a bar and says, “This place is a dump!” The barman looks over at him & sez, “You make a good point.”

#AlternateEnding001 A period walks into bar & sez, “This place is a dump!” Barman looks at him & growls, “What’s your point?”

#AlternateEnding002 – A period walks into a bar & sez, “This place is a dump!” The barmaid looks up & sez, “I see your point”

An ampersand walks into a bar. The bartender stops him saying, “We don’t serve characters like you in here.”

Dr. Spock, a rabbit, & a cornstalk walk into a bar. Bartender sez: “You guys want to hear a joke?” They say: “We’re all ears.”

E.T. walks into a bar, sits in his usual place, & asks: ‘Any messages for me?’ The barman sez: ‘Yeah, you need to phone home’

Simon Cowell walks into a bar and sits. And waits. Nobody takes his order. He storms out shouting, “American Idle!”

Gwen Stefani walks into a bar.  Guy sez, Sorry, ur ♫ Just A Girl ♫  Gwen sez, ♫ Excuse ME Mister ♫ & plays ♫

Ozzy Osbourne walks into a bar. Bartender sez, “We already had last call” Oz dials his iphone & sez, ♫Mama, I’m Coming Home♫

Agnetha, Bjorn, Benny, & (Anna)Frida walk into a bar.  The bartender says, ♫ Voulez-Vous? ♫

E.T. walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he can make a long-distance call.

Napolean walks into a bar & pays cash. Barman counts it & sez: Hey, pal, you’re short! Napolean: Oh yeah? Well, you’re ugly!

John Paul Jones walks into a bar at last call and declares: I’ve not yet begun to drink!

ƒ(x) walks into a bar. The barman says, “Sorry, we don’t cater for functions.”

A piece of gold walks into a bar. The Barman says “Au, get out of here” << via @maxicane #CoolChemicalSymbolJoke

neutron & electron walk into a bar. neutron asks bartender, “how much 4 a beer?” bartender replies, “for you, no charge.”

Schrödinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t walk into a bar. #QuantumPhysicsJoke”

An atom walks into a bar & sez: I lost an electron. Barman: Are you sure? Atom: I’m positive

Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says: “I’m terribly sorry, we don’t serve noble gases.” Helium doesn’t react. #FT #joke (via @alheri aka lilly evans)

Plato & a platypus walk into a bar. The bartender looks puzzled. Plato says, “She looked a lot better in the cave.”

Raskolnikov walks into a bar, robs it, but then returns the $. Amazed barman asks, why? R: I’d never have gotten away with it

A woman walked into a bar & asked the bartender for a double entendre. So he gave it to her … #Needed2LookThatOneUp 🙂

double entendre – n., an ambiguity with one interpretation that is indelicate

A satanist, a demon, & the devil walk into a bar. When the bartender sees them, he screams: GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!


A rope walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind here” and throws him out. #Rope #WalksIntoABar (1 of 3)

Outside, the Rope ties himself into a knot, frays an end, & walks back into the bar. #Rope #WalksIntoABar (2 of 3)

The bartender says, “Say, weren’t you just in here?” The rope replies: “I’m a frayed knot” #Rope #WalksintoABar (3 of 3)


A priest, a minister, & a rabbi walk into a bar.  The bartender says, “Is this some kind of joke?”

Comic Sans & Times New Roman walk into a bar.  The bartender sez: ‘we don’t serve your type’ 🙂


Setting: Mickey and Minnie Mouse in divorce court.  Mickey has made his case to the judge.

Judge: I’m sorry, Mickey, but mental instability in Minnie is not a valid reason for divorce.

Mickey: I didn’t say she was crazy, your honor, I just said she was f*^%ing Goofy!


A guy walks into a bar that was built atop of a 20 story building. He walks up to the bartender asks for a shot of tequila, takes the shot, walks over to the balcony and jumps. Same guy walks back into the bar and repeats the whole process. A drunk man sitting at the bar notices and decides to stop the guy. The drunk guy asks “How do you do that?” The guy replies, “Well, I take the shot of tequila and it makes me very boyant. Right before it hit the ground the tequila makes me float. You should try it, it’s fun.” The drunk guy looks over at the bartender, asks for a shot of tequila, walks over to the balcony and jumps… and splat! Dies instantly. Bartender looks over at the guy sitting at the bar with a devilish grin and say, “You know Superman, you’re an asshole when you’re drunk.”

[Computer programming joke] An SQL query walks into a bar, approaches two tables and says, “May I join you?”

John Kerry walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “Why the long face?”

Descartes walks into a bar. Bartender asks, “Have a drink?” Decartes replies, ‘I think not,’ and disappears.

A cornstalk walks into a bar.  The bartender says, “Want to hear a good joke?”  The cornstalk says, “I’m all ears”

A horse walks into bar.   The bartender says, ‘why the long face?’

An amnesiac walks into a bar and asks, “Do I come here often?”